Johnny does his best to get out of his current situation. Norbert causes a bit of chaos. Rose is eager for revenge.
Jenny and Davey were having dinner. Jenny had a shotgun besides her, in case Davey wanted to go watch his dirty dog videos. Suddenly, they heard a knock on the front door.
“Who is that?” Davey asked his wife.
“How the hell am I supposed to know, you idiot!” Jenny scolded. “Go open the fucking door already!”
Davey, once again, did what he was asked.
“Let it be the hookers, let it be the hookers…”
He was disappointed once again when he opened the door but was met by Mark and Denny once again. Ignoring them, he went straight to his couch and started to scream hysterically, and afterwards proceeded to cry. Jenny met them instead.
“What is this about?!” Jenny insisted to know.
“Hey Mrs. Wise,” Mark greeted. “No one has seen Johnny since we dropped him here yesterday evening. We’re wondering if he’s still here.”
Jenny looked at her husband, who immediately looked up with a sudden realization.
“Oh, right...I kinda forgot that I left him in the basement.”
Johnny was talking to himself in the basement until he saw the door opening. Immediately, he got up and sprinted towards the door, pushed his friends aside, and got upstairs to devour the breakfast. Johnny’s family and friends watched him for five minutes until he had eaten everything. Then, he stared at a wall. It took 20 minutes before he finally looked away, and noticed his friends standing there.
“Oh hi, Mark! Denny! What happened?”
“You kinda got your head ba-” Denny started.
“Banged against a wall and then your dad took care of you by putting you in this medical lab,” Mark said.
“Oh, haha! Classic dad,” Johnny responded.
“We also rescued Michelle from an evil cult,” Denny responded. “Mike shot a few guys and we got help from an Albuquerque lawyer and-”
“Whatever, I don’t care.” With that, Johnny left the home. Mark and Denny looked in disappointment at each other. However, as he walked through the streets of San Francisco in the middle of the night, he was suddenly stopped by the police commissionary himself.
“Stop right there, Johnny!” Norbert commanded. Johnny rolled his eyes but did. Norbert approached him with Doggie and decided to put handcuffs on him. Johnny was confused, though he laughed at the situation. Norbert put Johnny in his car and started driving.
“Haha. The 1st of April has come early this year! What’s this about, Norbert?”
“Shut up!” Norbert commanded once again. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you!” Johnny continued to laugh, angering Norbert. He was so angry that he drove the car against a wall. However, Father John had been sitting against that wall. The man had barely avoided the car.
“Dammit! My clothes are dirty again!” John complained. He then looked up and waved at Norbert. “Oh hey, chief! What are you doing?”
“Oh Father John, you don’t even want to know.” Norbert took a deep breath, and started explaining. “There is this asshole who decided to enter my house recently. I want to find the criminal so I can arrest or execute them. Since it’s obviously not you, given that you’re one of the only sane people here, I invite you to help me find the scumbag. Are you with me?”
John had flashbacks of him entering Norbert’s apartment. Eventually, he nodded. “Y-yeah. Sure, mate! Let’s find this fucking stupid criminal!” He quickly hopped in the car, and they drove to the police station, with Johnny in the back.
Michelle and Mike were lying in a bed. It didn’t seem like the bedroom from the villa that Mark had gotten them before. They were looking each other in the eyes.
“Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?” Michelle asked. Mike thought for a moment, but shook his head. “I don’t think so. Well, aside from the fact that there was a conflict with the priests. One had attacked people at the feast and killed Father Boris and sheriff Portman, I think. The new leader was going to execute him and John, but I don’t know if that has happened yet.”
Michelle sighed. “Not very surprising. Those priests were always going to cause some problems, one way or another. A shame that the Boris guy died though. Let’s hope that the dead won’t just invade the city now.”
Suddenly, the two were interrupted when Mark entered the room. He immediately dropped a bag he was carrying and stared in disbelief at the two.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Mark mumbled to himself while shaking his head. “I...I get you two a giant fucking mansion, away from all the scumbags around these parts, and yet you guys still prefer to be homeless and make out in my room! Not even in Johnny’s room, but in my fucking room!”
Mike nodded innocently. Michelle simply shrugged.
“Hm. Well, I don’t know Mark,” she replied. “Maybe it has to do with the fact that there’s possibly still a crazy cult gang out there who wants to kill me? Or perhaps it’s the part where there’s a possibility that an enormous herd of walking corpses could attack it, with only us there. And maybe we like being here, even if friends like Johnny are fucking insane?”
“Exactly, babe. But the most important thing is that our house is a mess,” Mike added. “Do you expect us to sleep in a house that has been completely ruined because Johnny felt the need to attack and try to kill Peter in our house?!”
“Wait a minute, now that you mention Peter, where the fuck is-”
“Peter is not relevant here, Mark!” Michelle interrupted. “What’s relevant is the fact that we’re taking your apartment. Have fun sleeping on some park bench or shitty, destroyed house!”
Mark, completely confused, left without hesitation.
Johnny woke up again. He was in a room with a lot of other people. Among them were notably Ryan, Nancy, Monica, Charlie, Larry, Maxwell, and Lee. Suddenly, someone tapped on his shoulder. He quickly elbowed the person in the face, but then noticed that it was Denny.
“Oh hi Denny,” Johnny greeted. “I didn’t see you there. You must’ve just gotten back from the future through the portal.” Holding his nose while it was bleeding, Denny quickly nodded. This made Johnny laugh again. Suddenly, Norbert and John entered the room. Norbert was carrying Jefferson on his back. He threw the man on the ground.
“You’re making a big mistake!” Jefferson warned. “I have many patients to...tend to.” Despite his pleads, Norbert did not care and pointed right at Charlie. John quickly grabbed him and dragged him across the room.
“Hey!” Monica shouted. “Why are you locking us up in this stupid holding cell?!” Once again, they didn’t respond, and John closed the door. The people were heavily annoyed. Larry Portman decided to have a smoke.
“Guys I have an idea!” Johnny suddenly shouted. “I have a master plan and I’m a genius!” Upon hearing that, most of the crowd started laughing. Maxwell was rather intrigued, however, and decided to listen to Johnny.
“Tell me about this plan, Johnny.”
Norbert and John were sitting in the interrogation room of the police station with Charlie. He was very nervous. Norbert nodded to John.
“This one is yours, Father.” John nodded, and looked Charlie right in the eyes.
“I would like you to answer to all my following questions with the truth? Will do you that, pal?” John asked. Charlie nervously nodded. “C-certainly, John! I p-promise you that I’ll only tell the truth!”
“Alright. Let’s get started then, shall we?” John stood up and walked around the room, acting like he knew what the hell he was doing. “What did you do around the evening, the day before the feast?”
Charlie scratched his head and tried to remember. “I...I t-think that I gave sev-several flyers to t-the people f-for the feast. The priests t-told me to do so. I can remember...um...Michelle? D-Donnie? Hugo? Mark? A-and I think ther-there wa-”
“AH SHUT UP!” Norbert shouted, as he slammed Charlie’s head against the table, knocking him unconscious. John frowned. “Why did you do that for? Did he piss you off or what?”
“Yes,” Norbert responded. “He stuttered every two seconds and sweats like he just ran around the entire world. Now go find and get me Mark and his asshole friends while me and Doggie interrogate Johnny!”
John nodded and quickly went outside. Meanwhile, Norbert carried the unconscious body of Charlie back to the others. However, when he opened the door, the people immediately jumped and attacked him. This made him run away as fast as he could. Outside, he stumbled upon Father John, who looked confused at him.
“RUN! THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL US, JOHN!”
The civilians all chased Norbert, John, and Doggie. Johnny joined them, but Maxwell quickly interrupted.
“Hey! You said we wouldn’t hurt them, right?”
“Well, we’ll see...Maxwell, don’t plan too much, it may not come out right.” To this, Maxwell simply frowned. Johnny wanted to continue, but Maxwell laid his hand on Johnny’s shoulder.
“Don’t touch me, motherfucker!” Johnny shouted as he punched Maxwell in the face. The priest then fell on the ground, and Johnny continued to chase his captors. Maxwell simply gave up and laid on the ground.
“Lord have mercy upon me.”
Meanwhile, Saul and his team were planning to leave San Francisco. Mark, exhausted due to the lack of sleep because he was kicked out of his apartment, came to see them out, and was surprised when he saw Oshkosh standing with them. He approached them.
“Alright. Francesca should be here any minute now,” Saul stated. He then turned around and greeted Mark. “Hey there, my dearest client. Unfortunately, I think I’m going to have to leave this beautiful city. A friend has invited on a yacht somewhere and I just can’t refuse his offer.”
Mark nodded. “Yeah, sure. I understand.”
He then looked at Oshkosh, who was staring at the ground while Biblo was flying in the air. “Are you leaving?” he asked her. She looked up and nodded.
“Yeah. I don’t think any of you will ever forgive me for what I’ve done,” Oshkosh said. “And that’s understandable. I’ll leave so that everyone can feel better. If I stay, someone like Johnny would probably kill me in sleep. So...I’m sorry.”
Mark wanted to respond, but was interrupted when a woman suddenly arrived in a van. Saul looked very irritated.
“Francesca, I told you to bring an ambulance vehicle, not a regular van, in case someone gets hurt! And someone got hurt indeed! Poor Kuby here is in need of medical assistance and now we don’t have that.”
Francesca shrugged. “You just told me to pick a van. Are you coming or what?” Saul turned around and rolled his eyes. Kuby tried to get up, but was still in a lot of pain since he had been shot in the stomach earlier, so Huell had to help him.
“Hey boss, I heard that there’s still a doctor around here. Maybe I can stay here for a day or two,” Kuby suggested. Saul thought about it. “I mean, I know where you guys will be at so normally I should see you then. See you later, Goodman.”
Saul waved at him and gave a quick nod to Mark, before entering the van. Huell tried to follow, and whined when Saul instructed him to sit in the back with Oshkosh. Mark watched as they departed, and sighed heavily.
They rode for a while, and eventually they saw someone cutting wood somewhere at a house. Oshkosh noticed this and ordered Saul to stop the van.
"Hey! I recognise you from San Francisco! What are you doing here?" Oshkosh asked. The man looked up. It was Nigel.
"I'm just living here with my family," Nigel stated. "I have no plans to return to the city." Shortly after, Saul hopped out of the van as well.
"Maybe you're interested in my offer," Saul started.
Some time had passed since the residents had been freed from the police station. Mike and Michelle left the apartment. They were cautious, as they expected Mark to attack them any second. Instead, they encountered Johnny. He started running to them, very excited.
"Oh hi Mike! Michelle! My friends!" Johnny shouted from afar. Michelle and Mike slowly stepped back, while continuing to face him.
“This is the part where we run,” Michelle stated. She and Mike then began to run into an alley. Johnny continued to chase them.
Then it happened.
Johnny screamed in agony and fell on the ground. Michelle and Mike turned around.
“Aah! Cut it off! I can’t handle the pain anymore!” Johnny screamed.
“Johnny, you’re confusing me. What do you mean?!” Mike asked. He then looked at Michelle as she picked up a lego brick. She then noticed that Johnny wasn’t wearing any shoes.
“Okay, Johnny...I know you’re in a lot of pain. Stepping on a lego brick is one of the worst things a man or woman has to endure if you’re not wearing shoes. And that brings me to the point, Johnny...why aren’t you wearing any fucking shoes?!”
“I think the most important thing here is that there’s a lego brick in the middle of the road,” Mike stated. “Perhaps I should become the new Police Commissioner, and then we can try to solve this case.”
The three were interrupted by the sound of a gunshot. All annoyed by it, they decided to investigate what was happening. Awaiting for them was the corpse of a priest. The shot had been fired by Rose. Quickly, Mike and Michelle hid against the wall and tried to stay out of sight, while Johnny greeted them. Other people were watching from afar.
“Oh hi,” Johnny greeted. “How are you doing? We don’t have much candy because the priests stole most of it, haha! Thank you for cleaning the streets up a bit! If you want more of these, alw-”
“We are not here for these damn priests!” Rose stated. “We are here because we want to kill Michelle Turner and her boyfriend, Mike.”
Mark got there too and freaked out when he saw Rose standing there with an army. Charlie was standing besides him, his head still hurting, so he tapped on the man’s shoulder. Scared, Charlie turned around.
“Get the weapons now!”
He then quickly rushed to Johnny, who was still talking to Rose.
“Yes, Michelle and Mike are right here behind this corner!” Johnny said, dragging them to Rose, before being stopped by Mark.
“Stop!” Mark shouted, as he tackled Johnny. This gave Michelle and Mike the chance to run away. Rose rolled her eyes.
“Give me them now,” Rose commanded. When Mark refused to, Ralph brought John and Norbert in front of Rose and forced them on their knees. He then handed Rose a box cutter, and she pressed it against John’s neck.
“Give them or I will cut these fuckers their throats!”
The crowd started bursting into laughter. Even Mark had to laugh. This confused Rose so much, that she dropped her box cutter.
“Go ahead!” Monica shouted. “No one cares about these dickheads! Do the world a favor and kill them right now!” The crowd seemed to agree. That was until Ralph appeared once again, this time with Denny. Everyone was afraid now, since they all loved Denny. Meanwhile, Charlie had already returned with a bag full of weapons, and tossed an assault rifle to Johnny, who was absolutely furious.
“Leave Denny alone!” Johnny screamed. “He’s a time traveller! Only I can hurt him!” He started pointing the assault rifle at Rose’s group and began to fire, killing several members. A shootout happened between the two groups. Since no one focused on them, all three captives quickly got away too. Rose was meanwhile unfazed by the whole event and calmly walked up to Ralph.
“Get the rocket launcher. Try to stay away from the herd.” Ralph started to laugh. “With pleasure, ma’am!”
Rose then grabbed a long walking stick. More as a weapon, rather than actually walking with it. Meanwhile, Ralph walked through the streets of San Francisco. He checked several buildings for movement.
“This is going to be fun as hell!” Ralph shouted.
Meanwhile, Kuby was waiting in the hospital for doctor Jefferson to show up. He got bored and started reading a book. However, the gunshot sounds distracted him, and he decided to look through the window to see what’s happening. Ralph was walking around there, and noticed him. He pointed his rocket launcher, and fired it right at Kuby.
“Well crap,” Kuby mumbled, moments before being blown to pieces. Ralph laughed hysterically. The next target of his was all too familiar. The house of Davey and Jenny.
“Honey, can you turn down the volume?! I’m trying to call my hoo-friends!” Davey shouted. Jenny rolled her eyes. She was making breakfast.
“It’s outside, you moron! It seems that these morons shoot at each other every other day!” Then, Ralph appeared in front of the window with his rocket launcher. Jenny’s eyes widened. Out of nowhere, Johnny appeared, and quickly stopped Ralph.
“That’s not your toy anymore! It’s mine now!” He insisted. Johnny and Ralph started to struggle for the rocket launcher, which made Jenny quickly run outside to try and escape. She warned her husband too.
“Get out of there if you don’t want to be blown to pieces!” She shouted, before running off. Davey, however, was too focused on getting more footage of his dirty videos. Meanwhile, Ralph knocked Johnny out, and prepared to destroy the house. Davey did not care to run away.
“No! I need to see them! Give me my videos! Give me my hookers and my dogs! Give it to me now! GIVE IT TO-”
The entire house was blown into pieces as well by Ralph, killing Davey in the process. Ralph no longer focused on Johnny, thinking he was dead, and decided to look for other targets.
A herd was approaching San Francisco, led there by Rose’s group. It was an enormous one, and Mark and the group knew they had to get out of there. However, they were soon trapped by incoming walkers and members of Rose’s group, so people split up. Charlie tried to crawl into a garbage container, but was soon grabbed and bitten by walkers.
“Aw! I-I'm just a delivery guy! S-stop! Bad boy, baaa-”
In mere seconds, the walkers completely devoured him. Mike and Michelle were horrified, and ran into an alley to try and escape. While the other side seemed clear at first, Rose awaited them behind the wall, and knocked Mike in the face with the walking stick.
“Mike!” Michelle tried to help him, but got shot in the shoulder by a soldier. Rose pressed her feet on Mike’s chest and raised her walking stick above his head. Mike was dizzy and annoyed.
“You’re not very nice!” Mike whined. “You broke my nose! Michelle will-”
Rose bashed Mike in the face with her stick. He was barely still conscious.
“That is for Janet!”
She did it again.
“And that is for Ricky!”
She did it a third time.
“This is for ruining my life, you fucking asshole!”
She repeatedly bashed Mike’s face with the stick, over and over again, until it was an unrecognizable mess. Michelle, who was about to be finished by the one soldier, was horrified when she saw what Rose did. She quickly grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the belly, making him fall over. She then rushed to Mike’s corpse, and screamed hysterically. Rose was laughing besides them.
“You did this!” Michelle screamed. “You fucking monster!”
Michelle used her knife and stabbed Rose in the foot. She then got over her and repeatedly stabbed her in the face while screaming. She continued for a while longer, and then finally dropped her knife. The walkers started to surround them, and devoured the one soldier, as well as Mike’s corpse. Michelle got up.
“I’m sorry, Mikey,” Michelle said to her lover’s corpse, before running away, as the walkers continued to feast on Mike’s remains.
There would never be chocolate sex again.
- John C. McGinley as Jefferson
- Yeon Woo-jin as Lee (no lines)
- Will Poulter as Larry Portman (no lines)
- Boris Kodjoe as Ryan (no lines)
- Kimberly Williams as Nancy (no lines)
- Sonya Cassidy as Monica
- John Rothman as Charlie
- Lavell Crawford as Huell Babineaux (no lines)
- Bill Burr as Patrick Kuby
- Tina Parker as Francesca Liddy
SPOILERS BELOW, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
SPOILERS BELOW, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
|Episodes of The Undead Room|
|Season 1||"Pilot" • "Conspiracy" • "Guilty" • "Trapped" • "Exposed" • "Conflict" • "Confrontation"|
|Season 2||"Miserable" • "Anger Issues" • "New Priest in Town" • "Feast" • "Trial" • "Sweet Vengeance" • "Lone Chicken" • "Punishment" • "Odd Habits" • "The Great Failure" • "Alone in the Dark" • "Injustice" • "Freedom"|