This article, Miserable (TUR), is property of Freaky Ass Smile Lord.

Release Date
November 9, 2019
Preceded By
Succeeded By

"Miserable" is the first episode of the second season of The Undead Room. It is the eighth episode of the series overall. It premiered on November 9, 2019.


People try to forget recent events; some do this better than others.


Johnny looked outside. Three weeks had passed since the death of Lisa. Judging from the colored leaves and the colder weather, it was autumn.

Johnny was holding a coffee cup. He drank from it. Shortly after, he threw it out of the window, and prepared to pay a visit to Nigel.

Nigel, meanwhile, was still asleep. After all, it was still early in the morning. When he heard some noise, he quickly got up, and went downstairs to investigate. There, he found that Johnny had broken into his apartment, having used an axe to get in. Nigel was furious when he saw that his door was ruined. Still wearing his pyjama and fluffy slippers, he decided to confront Johnny.

"Johnny!" Nigel shouted. "You fucking asshole! Why did you break into my apartment?! And why did you break my fucking door?! You better have a good explanation!"

Ignoring the ranting of Nigel, Johnny picked up the man's television. Nigel quickly went to the exit and blocked it.

"Are you planning on taking my TV? Are you completely mad? Why would you-"

Nigel was quickly silenced when Johnny smashed the TV on Nigel's head. Luckily, it hadn't been a very impactful hit, so Nigel was only unconscious. Johnny then proceeded to return to his apartment, placing the TV there. Around this time, Mike arrived.

"Hey, Johnny. What's up?"

Johnny looked up. "Oh hi, Mike. Nigel gave me his TV so that I can watch my favorite show again!" Mike turned around, and saw Nigel's unconscious body. He frowned. "Erm...great, I guess. Anyways, I have some news. Wanna hear it?"

"Yes! Tell me everything!" Johnny happily started to jump and then sat down on his couch, excitedly prepared to listen. He looked like he was five again. Finding all of this a bit odd, Mike decided to sit as well and began to inform Johnny.

"First of all, Mark is still roaming around, searching for bars. I guess he still can't get over the whole thing with Lisa. Second, the priests are still clearing areas of San Francisco from the dead. Some people are helping them. I will do so as well some time."

Johnny randomly started to laugh. "Not me! I will sit here with my Doritos watching the show about William Black."

"Erm, okay. Third, Peter is inviting people to his apartment for psychology lessons. He thinks I'm traumatised from that retirement home conflict."

Johnny was confused. "I thought you were."

"Of course I am, Johnny! They wanted to play bingo! And Jesus, the things they talked about were so boring! It's just that I don't want to be at Peter's apartment because it stinks there, hence why I'm not going. Anyways, I believe that Michelle and Denny are going to be there in the midday." Mike paused for a while. "There's one last thing that I should tell you..."

"I'm all ears."

Mike took a deep breath, before speaking. "I...think I saw your father walking into a strip club."

Johnny's eyes widened. He was completely shocked. "No...this can't be! My parents are in town! I need to evacuate!" Johnny, thinking he could fly like a chicken, immediately jumped out of the window. Mike shook his head in disappointment.


"Tell us what exactly happened, Michelle," Peter demanded.

Michelle nodded, and explained the story. "Some old woman was taking Mike to the retirement home. Once they were gone, I confronted the other woman, the one who had kidnapped Mike at the police station, and threatened her with a knife. Once she revealed where the location of the retirement home was, I decided to slit her throat. When it was dark, I arrived at the location. The woman had already turned, so I used her to kill the first elderly man. Afterwards, I massacred the others, and freed Mike."

After some time of silence, Peter responded. "Well, Michelle. It seems to me enjoyed killing them."

Michelle didn't understand what Peter was implying. "Why wouldn't I? They were crazy! No one gets to put my Mikey into a retirement home!" There was a silence for some time, until Michelle looked at her watch, and got up. "I have to go. Promised the priests that I'd help them with clearing another area. Bye!"

Once Michelle left, Peter turned to Denny. "Well...anyways, how are you doing now, Denny? You have gone into rehab right?" Denny, having almost fallen asleep out of boredom, was fully awake again upon hearing his name. "Yeah, sure. Everything's going good. I'm no longer using drugs."

Peter smiled. "That's good. And other than that?"

"Well," Denny said. "Johnny still thinks that I'm a time traveller." Peter laughed. "Really? Why didn't you tell him the truth yet?"

"I...don't want him to think that I aged badly," Denny admitted. "Just look at me! I look older than Johnny himself now! It's crazy. I tried everything to look younger again, but it doesn't help. And aside from all of that, if he knew that I was lying this whole time, he would probably kill me."

Somewhere else, the priests were gathering. Mike and Michelle arrived as well, hand in hand. "Can't wait to smash some undead heads!" John said eagerly. He was holding a mace, which was now his personal weapon. "Yeah," Boris agreed. "Anyways, I think that's everyo-"

"Who are we killing today?!" Norbert demanded to know, as he joined the others. Doggie was with him as well. Boris looked uncertainly at John. "Yeah," John said. "He used to be Police Comissioner, and this is how he ended up. Anyways, he'll be useful. He'll definitely want to kill some walkers."

Boris trusted John on his word. "Eh, whatever. Let's begin."

The priests and the others moved to the area infested by walkers. The first person to attack was John, smashing a walker's head to pieces with his mace. He started to laugh. "Come get me, cunts!" Soon after, Mike and Michelle each stabbed some in the head. Boris had only a gun so shot some, attracting more walkers. When a bigger group arrived, Norbert picked a rifle and rapidly shot at walkers. Doggie alerted him from a walker trying to bite him. Norbert quickly spinned around and killed the walker. He then petted the dog. "Good creature!"

It took about fifteen minutes to clear the area. John noticed a bar nearby. "Wait, is that still running? Damn, I gotta have a drink! But first, food!"

Mike and Michelle sat down on a bench. "How was it at Peter's place?" MIchelle sighed deeply and leaned back. "Boring as fuck. Peter thinks I'm some kind of psychopath. Like, no one really cares about you, Peter. So fuck off." Mike nodded. That was when he noticed someone sneaking through the bushes, on his way to the bar.

"Is that...Johnny?"

The bar, which was the same one that Johnny entered when he was chased by Ivan, still had a bartender, as well as three customer. Among these was Mark, with a bottle in his hand. He was still miserable and depressed. The other two were discussing recent events.

"With this apocalypse thing going on, this bar is so quiet now," one of the customers noted. His girlfriend looked outside. "You sure about that, Ryan? Because from what I can tell, there was some massive fight going on outside. Hell, think I saw a priest smashing a walker's skull to pieces."

Ryan looked outside as well, seeing some priests resting. He also noticed Norbert. "Yeah, but I meant inside here, Nancy. Anyways, seems our former Comissioner is still alive as well."

Someone kicked the front door open. "Hands up, everyone! This is a robbery!"

Ryan and Nancy quickly obeyed, while Jacob the bartender reached for a gun, and Mark simply continued drinking. Eventually, Johnny showed his face. "Haha, surprise everyone! As a way to make this up to you, no one has to pay for their drinks anymore!"

Jacob looked in disgust. "You! I remember you. First, you don't pa-"

"Stop with the sales pitch, human bean. I'm here to rescue a friend of mine. Let's go, Mark! Let's go to a better bar!" Mark was confused. "Johnny?! What are you doing?!" Johnny grabbed Mark by the arm and dragged him across the bar until they exited.

"Well," Ryan said. "That happened."

Hours later, Denny is awaiting someone in an alley. By this time, it was sunset. He was glad to see his friend, the junkie who had been stuck with Peter in the cell at the police station. "Tyler, buddy! I got your drugs. Hope you have the money!"

Tyler took the drugs and inspected it. "This seems awfully a lot like the drugs that Chris-R always gave me." The man glared at Denny, who smiled nervously. "Really? Wow. That's a coincidence." Denny had stolen some from Chris-R after killing the man, but tried to act like he had no part in it.

"Whatever, I'll take it." Tyler placed the drugs in his drugs pocket. "Anyways," Denny started. "I was wondering if you know why the Comissioner is in a permanent crazy state. I mean, ever since I gave him the drugs, he has been acting so we-"

"Denny," Tyler said, on a seemingly cold and threatening tone. "I think it's best that you just take your money and fuck off. I don't want to waste my time talking to you. I need to get high."

Johnny and Mark had finally found another bar after searching for hours. They walked inside. Here, the bartender was a reanimated corpse. "Fantastic!" Johnny exulted. "No annoying bartenders here!"

Mark sat down in annoyance. He was really tired. "Alright. What is it, Johnny?"

Johnny sat on the bar, trying to get a beer and a chocolate milk. He tossed the beer to Mark. "I have a terrible problem. My parents are apparently in town, and I am scared!" Mark frowned. "Is this why you came all this way? Are you serious?" Johnny nodded.

"Anyways, how is your sex life?"

Mark frowned once again. "Is that a serious question? My sex life is more or less non-existent ever since I shot Lisa!" He sighed deeply. At first, it took Johnny a while to remember who Lisa was, but then instantly remembered. "Oh yes, my future wife! What about it?"

"I...I feel really guilty for what happened. She was a horrible person, but she didn't deserve to die, you know? I blame myself for her death."

"Eh, whatever." Johnny drank from his chocolate milk. Suddenly, someone arrived. It was Tyler. At this point, he was already heavily influenced by the drugs he took.

"Hey, dickheads! Get lost! This is my place now, bitches! Oh yeah!"

Johnny looked at his head and felt insulted. "Excuse me?! I don't have a dick on my head!" Tyler started to laugh hysterically. "If you want to play it like that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!" Mark looked as Tyler went outside, while Johnny continued to drink. "Johnny, I think that we need to leave."

Tyler quickly returned with a rifle in his hand. Mark pulled Johnny by his shirt.

"Jesus, look out!"

Tyler started to fire while Mark leaped over the bar, dragging Johnny over it as well. They took cover against it as Tyler continued to shoot at them. He mainly hit many alcoholic drinks that stood on a rack. Johnny and Mark did their best to cover themselves from getting hit by shards.

"This isn't how I imagined I'd spend my evening," Johnny remarked. Tyler continued to shoot and laugh hysterically. After a while, however, he stopped.

"I still have ten other guns in my car, fuckers! I'm going to kill both of you today! Prepare to meet y-"

Tyler was silenced once that another gunshot was fired. It didn't sound like it was from a rifle. After a minute or two, Johnny and Mark finally dared to take a look.

The junkie was dead on the ground, and some unknown woman was robbing his corpse, before spitting on him. Johnny and Mark decided to show themselves.

"Who are you?" Mark asked. The woman looked up.

"Me?" She smiled.

"I'm Oshkosh Begosh."




Also Starring

Special Guest Stars







  • First appearance of Ryan.
  • First appearance of Nancy.
  • First appearance of Oshkosh Begosh.
  • Last appearance of Tyler.
  • As of this episode, Brendan Gleeson (John) has been added to the opening credits.
    • This is the first episode featuring Doug Jones (Nigel) as a series regular. He is listed under "Also Starring".
Episodes of The Undead Room
Season 1 "Pilot" • "Conspiracy" • "Guilty" • "Trapped" • "Exposed" • "Conflict" • "Confrontation"
Season 2 "Miserable" • "Anger Issues" • "New Priest in Town" • "Feast" • "Trial" • "Sweet Vengeance" • "Lone Chicken" • "Punishment" • "Odd Habits" • "The Great Failure" • "Alone in the Dark" • "Injustice" • "Freedom"
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